The game of moving on.

I had an interesting conversation with my 2012-man today! He told me he has moved on. Found someone new. Someone who isn't me. I guess it should come as no suprise to me and yet somehow it left me blue. Am I that easy to forget? Is he able erase all the good memories we shared? Was I not enough fun, sexy or attractive for him? Or was it just the fact we were not good for one another?

I guess moving on is a natural process we learn from an early age. We move  from childhood to puberty, through adulthood, eventually reaching seniority. And yet somehow we still struggle with letting go and moving on. For I am no stranger to moving on. If something I must be an expert at it by now. I have moved so many times in my short twenty-five years that I no longer keep track of all the places and people I have seen and met. I haved lived in over three countries and numeruos cities making me somewhat of an expert in adapting to new surroundings. And I am so used to constantly changing lifestyle that when I stay in one place longer than three months I get rather depressed. Maybe that is one of the reasons my blogs have been so gloomy lately. I've been stuck in a quiet city with little excitement for over a year now. And I need a change. A new city, a new job and a new lover. So what is about today's conversation that upset me so much? Is it because Valentines is coming up and am terrified to face it alone? After all, it was I who ended things with my 2012-man. But did I really want them to be over?  Or was I secretly hoping he would find his way back to me?

I guess I will never know as it is simply over. And it has been over for sometime now but today the little pieces of hope I still kept were sheded. He has moved on! And so should I. It is time to accept it. To let him go. It is not like I expected him to be single and available forever (although he might have been neither even when we met)! And the victory of the break up goes entirely to him. For when two people part ways a competition of sorts commences - a rivalry of who can move on faster. Call it a game if you wish! And if you are the one who moves on first, it means it was you cared who less about the other person and have had the upper-hand in the relationship the entire time. You have been the one top - the cowgirl in bed! Well, it is clear now that it was I who cared more - a curse or a blessing I am not sure! And I don't know how long it will take me to move on from the heartache I feel right now! Will it be a day, a week, a month or possibly an year? But no matter how long it takes and no matter how much hurt he left behind, I know I will be just fine! The time has come for me to move on. And I am starting from today.