A Professional Day With Dalia White

I was asked by my boss to write up a summary of my current job and describe my day-to-day tasks. As I was typing away I realised how little my daily activities evolve around work. Even though I wrote up quite an impressive resume and made myself sound indispensable - it is all but a myth. I rarely do anything productive other than coffee breaks and stalking handsome co-workers. So I have decided to share my daily exertions with you, my fellow readers!

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A professional day with Dalia White:

7:15am

Buzzzzzz...My first alarm just rang. SNOOZE! I have no intention of getting up THAT early.

7:45am

Buzzzzzz...SHUT UP, YOU m@thrf@ck))^^$!

8:15am

Buzzzzzz...Oh, for f*ck's sake I AM UP(!) COFFEEEEEEEEE (!) Drag my lazy ass to the bathroom - shower, brush teeth, do hair and make-up, grab some random clothes from the wardrobe. 

9:45am

All set now. Leave the house. Looking good. Stop by the shop to buy my daily supply of smokes and  Red Bull.

                                                                 10:00-10:30am

I made it (!) Ok, so I might be a little late but worst things have happened to civilisation! And yes, my entrance ranges from being a little late to VERY late...OOPS! 

10:45am 

Ok, I have switched on my computer and the chat windows - time to corrupt the hard-working and go for a smoke/coffee.

11:00am

Still sleepy. Will open up a spreadsheet just so I look very productive. Meanwhile I am going to check Facebook, email and chat with my friends on the internal server. After all I must find out the latest work gossip.

11:30am

Smoke time. That will kill another 15 minutes before lunch.

12:00pm

LUNCH. Finally. I am exhausted - been so busy this morning! I deserve a pint. Off to the pub.

1:00pm

Back from the pub! Bloody wish I could stay there until home time (argh!) ... Ok, time to close the morning's spreadsheet and open up another one just so it looks like I am real productive and have finished half of my day's work. I might even work a little...Oh wait, my friend is messaging me - she has juicy gossip. It would be rude not to reply.

1:45pm

Break time. Gossiping is exhausting. I just hope I did not leave our conversation open for my boss to read.

2:00pm

Shit, totally forgot - I have a bloody meeting! Argh, PANIC (!)

3:30pm

The early birds are leaving work now. They have been here since 7:30am. Hmm, I vaguely remember sleeping at that time of night. Okay, I am going for a break now and will open another spreadsheet before I head home.

4:00pm

I am EXHAUSTED (!) I did sooooo much work today. I think I should go home and have a well-deserved nap. *Trying to sneak out unnoticed*. My colleague sees me and shouts from the other side of the office: "YOU ARE LEAVING ALREADY? BYE BYE!" Damn,  need to work on my exit strategy. 

4:15pm

HOME! I am exhausted - I was real productive today. Good, time for a nap now!